What If God Is Trying to Stretch You, Not Fix You?

As I sit down to write, today is my 37th birthday. I have one of those brains that just won’t shut down, but I get extra thoughtful and introspective around my birthday these days. I hate to think that one day, when I run out of years ahead of me, I might look back only to realize I was living on autopilot and missed the whole point. So if you’ll indulge me a few minutes of birthday reflection – 

I’ve grown a lot this year. Aside from the year our firstborn died at birth, I think this has been the most stretching year of my life. And honestly, the year that Max died was less a stretching than a ripping. Everything burst at the seams, and I had to put it back together again. This year has been stretching in the true sense of the word.

A lot of discomfort – discomfort as I sent both of my children to full time school for the first time and watched my son struggle and stretch as we awaited a dyslexia diagnosis.

Discomfort as I watched climate disasters and human rights atrocities unfold on the screen of my phone, while being told not to focus on the bad.

Discomfort as I watched faith leaders, both public figures and ones I’ve personally known, continue to discredit and diminish survivors of abuse.

Discomfort as l’ve grappled with my own complicity and role in holding up prejudicial structures that benefit me while harming others; my responsibility as a follower of Christ to my fellow man.  

The metaphor of stretching brings to mind the parable of the wineskins in Matthew 9:16-17 AMP

But no one puts a piece of unshrunk (new) cloth on an old garment; for the patch pulls away from the garment, and a worse tear results. Nor is new wine put into old wineskins [that have lost their elasticity]; otherwise the wineskins burst, and the [fermenting] wine spills and the wineskins are ruined. But new wine is put into fresh wineskins, so both are preserved.

This is one of many parables that Jesus refrains from explaining. It takes place in the context of a question about why the religious leaders of the day engaged in fasting while Jesus’ disciples did not. Jesus answers with the above parable of the garment and the wineskins. We can infer then that the parable is about how the new way Jesus ushers in is too big to fit within old, limiting systems of religion and control. The old wineskins are the Old Covenant, the Law, and the physical temple. The new wineskins are the New Covenant, grace, the new temple - the body of Christ. 

And since believers are the body Christ, I think it’s fair to extend the metaphor to also speak to sanctification on a personal level. Growing up in the church, I was taught to think of sanctification as a shaving off. A chipping away of the bad, the sinful, the “flesh”, until we’re left with only the spiritual, the righteous, the perfect. The metaphor or parable here would be akin to Michelangelo carving David out of a block of marble. Under this paradigm, the “me-ness” in me is being removed until all that remains is the Jesus in me. Or to borrow the well-worn adage, God can look upon me because he doesn’t see me and my sin but instead sees Jesus and his righteousness.

But that doesn’t feel right to me. As I age, I really resonate with this imagery of a new wineskin we find in Matthew 9. In 2 Corinthians 5:17, Paul says that anyone who belongs to Christ has been made new – a new wineskin, if you will. A wineskin that can, and indeed must, stretch to accommodate the work of the Holy Spirit along with the fermentation and bubbling that occurs. 

This imagery of sanctification not only rings true in my soul, it brings me great joy and freedom. I am not merely allowed to grow and change and expand, I am intended to. So often I find myself falling back into the belief that Christianity means a very narrow set of beliefs, rules, and behaviors that I must hold fast to from now until I meet Christ face to face. But the spiritual life Jesus taught is a dynamic one. One that is intended to stretch and change me. To increase my capacity to love both God and neighbor.

I turn again to the writings of Paul in Romans chapter 12:2 AMP

Do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you].

A fitting place to circle back for a time of reflection on my own life and purpose. There are so many ways to interpret and determine God’s will for our lives. I, for one, have prayed many times that God would clearly reveal their will for my life in any given circumstance. In this particular moment, I am wondering what to do with my newfound free time as I’ve sent both kids to school. I’ve considered going back to school myself, pursuing more full-time work, or leaving margin in my schedule for volunteering. But even that last option opens up the question of where I can best use my gifts and make the biggest impact. 

But if I simply continue reading in Romans 12 I find what feels like a very appropriate and sufficiently big guiding mission statement for my life:

Love is to be sincere and active [the real thing—without guile and hypocrisy]. Hate what is evil [detest all ungodliness, do not tolerate wickedness]; hold on tightly to what is good. Be devoted to one another with [authentic] brotherly affection [as members of one family], give preference to one another in honor; never lagging behind in diligence; aglow in the Spirit, enthusiastically serving the Lord; constantly rejoicing in hope [because of our confidence in Christ], steadfast and patient in distress, devoted to prayer [continually seeking wisdom, guidance, and strength], contributing to the needs of God’s people, pursuing [the practice of] hospitality.

That’s a hefty list (and the passage continues beyond this!). But as I enter yet another year on this lovely spinning planet, I set myself towards sincere love, hatred of evil, and standing ten toes down on what is good. Seeing the humanity in everyone and diligently working towards their good; enthusiastic service, refusal to become hardened; a childlike belief in the usefulness of prayer; giving freely of my time and resources, throwing open my front door and my heart.