It’s curious about how things work out sometimes.
I love writing – I once had a blog, published a book, and a long time ago, taught 5th graders all about reading and writing. Yet here I am, struggling for words.
I have been in many different seasons and just came out of one where I felt super connected to God and His Word. I was tapped into the source of Wisdom and felt like I knew what I was doing, what I was to say, to write, all of it. I felt God’s wisdom abundantly.
And now it's quiet.
It's like my brain cannot complete a sentence or a thought. It's all jumbled and discombobulated.
I feel disconnected from my Vine.
And yet I am to write a blog post for all of you lovely ladies at our church and beyond, hoping to encourage and point you to Jesus. And yet I am struggling to find the right words, sentiment, and direction. I am at a loss.
I sure hope I am not the only one who has felt like God is not answering or giving immediate wisdom, thus why I am sharing. I could very easily go to my writing archives and find an unpublished piece to share, but I feel like that would be a disservice and I would not be honest with you, or myself.
In times when we feel God is quiet, what are we to do?
I think of Dory in Finding Nemo: Just keep swimming.
Keep pushing forward.
Keep reading the Bible.
Keep in community with other believers.
Keep seeking God.
In the book of Job, we read about Job who called out to God, and for 37 chapters, God was silent. Then, God confronted Job with the need to be content even though he didn’t know why he was suffering and did not explain the reason for the pain and suffering Job was going through.
Now I am not currently in a season of pain and suffering, though I have been many times, I can still sympathize with Job and how God helped him. God didn’t explain the reason but encouraged Job to be content, regardless of the situation he was in.
Alternatively, I read some commentaries that suggest God’s silence is because of an unconfessed sin. Maybe that is me as well. If I am completely honest and transparent (which I usually am), my unconfessed sins run deep.
A need for approval.
A desire for others to pat me on the back and say, “Job well done!” or “Wow! That was great!”
A selfish desire for longing from others that is prideful.
I very well could be in a season of waiting and silence from God for a litany of reasons – maybe I am not paying attention; maybe I am not reading my Bible enough; maybe I am not being honest with myself and with God and confessing my selfish pride and looking for man's approval instead of Gods. Maybe it is all of the above.
But while I am in a season of waiting, of silence, of impatience . . . I find my rest and reassurance from God and know that I can be content, like God reassured Job, regardless of the situation.
Maybe that is me right now. Maybe that is also you. Are you in a season of waiting? Of silence? Waiting for God to give you clear direction? Waiting for an answer to prayer? Waiting and wanting so many answers and none have been presented?
Press on, friend.
It is so hard to be patient and wait when we live in such a fast-paced world that demands answers yesterday. In a world that urges us to make decisions immediately. The world keeps spinning and we keep rushing along to the next activity, the next meeting, the next call, the next sporting event, the next dinner party, the next, and the next, and the next. I don’t pause as often as I should. Could this be why I feel like my brain is scrambled and I lack wisdom at the moment? Possibly. Could this be God telling me to pause and stop pressing forward so fast? To slow down and rest in His Word and provision? Possibly so. Could this also be slowing down enough to notice my unconfessed sins? Yes. Absolutely.
Even though I don’t feel as clear-headed as I once was, I still press on, but differently, as I know I am being refined. I press on and read my Bible daily. I complete my Bible study as best as I can and pray for the Holy Spirit to work through me and give me the wisdom I need for the day. I keep asking God to clear my head and give me the words I need for whatever comes up that day . . . and no matter what, it’s all going to be okay. It is okay for me to be quiet and wait on the Lord. It’s okay for me to not know the answers and not have a clearly defined topic to write about for you all – on my first blog post (gracious!). Because, in all these ramblings, you may have felt the same at some point in your life or currently experiencing it as well, and I hope you know that you are not alone. We are all in this together – sisters in Christ. Pointing one another to our Maker and Sustainer. The One who controls all. He is our Provider and loves us dearly.
Though we wait, He is still moving.
Though it is quiet, He is still present. He is on His throne and does not leave us nor forsake us.
Press on to the Lord.
“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” – Philippians 3:12-14 (NLT)