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  • Writer's pictureChristy Williams

Can You Be Fully Present?

Are you in this season of life…anxious, get it done, finish strong, move forward, learn from your mistakes, clean up the house, do dishes, meal plan, walk dog, love on people well sometimes, have a plan (because if you don’t the day will make a plan for you, amen?), make sure mouths are fed with good nutritional food, limit screen time for all humans, get to all the events on time, then on a good day, take a shower, brush your teeth, go to bed and do it all over it again?

Here is another scenario-- life sucks, life is hard, you feel like you are doing it solo, with kids or without kids either way you feel lonely, left out, not seen, or heard. You might be single, married, divorced or a widow but the feeling is the same, blue, no motivation, worn down by the world and asking the Lord some hard questions right now? Just looking forward to getting back in the bed at the end of the day. Many of us can relate to this also.

I am writing with the intent to encourage you to take time for yourself in community with other amazing ladies. If you are in the second scenario, ask the Holy Spirit to help you, help you move in a different way. Some of us need friends to help us get out of this dark season.

If you see yourself in the first scenario, tell yourself you need time away, your family needs time away from you (this is not an indication of their love for you but just a thought), you can do this and not think of the house in shambles, let’s suppress that till later.

Don't miss the podcast with Licensed Counselor Cara McLeod. We talk magnification (making things worse/bigger in our minds than in reality), minimization (failing to recognize when something needs addressing by minimizing its seriousness), and disqualifying the positive (discounting positive attributes or growth).

I have discovered something about me. Vacation me (VM) is way different than everyday me (EM). EM is more efficient but not always present, VM is present and not always efficient. VM allows kids to eat whatever they want, no limit on screen time (but we also don’t do phones on vacation), drink all the sugary drinks, stay up late, have fun, and enjoy life with very little influence of your EM.

VM at a Girls Weekend is even better - Wake up when we want too, go to bed when I want too, no meal planning, don’t even look at the calendar, start relaxing and settle into the fact that not one soul depends on you right now. The sun can go down and I will not even think about dinner, which is glorious.

We have a chance to have these moments. The moments to unplug, have nothing burdening our shoulders, live without judgement of other humans putting things on you - work, family, friends, yourself.

When we unplug can we be present?

I will never forget the second time I went on a girl’s weekend with my friends, kids were young, and I left them with the hubs. We had the best time. We traveled out of town - it was wonderful. Again, just the girls talking, laughing, having fun and I did one check in with the husband to make sure the kids he brought all three homes from Dave and Busters. Then I was back to relaxing. I was present.

The first time I left all the kids at home, I was calling, checking in, seeing if the kids wanted to talk to me, did they miss me, are they alive, have they eaten, diapers changed (now this is me checking in on the hubs) - that did not go over well. So, then I proceed to get my feelings hurt and it takes me some time to get back in Vacation mode. Then bedtime rolled around, and I was thinking, are they in bed, did they take baths, did they…?

I could not do it. I could not unplug. I could not turn off the responsibility button. I could not be present where I was.

So, the second time I remember driving down the tollway and breathing heavily and saying it is all going to be okay. I think I even got teary eyes thinking about what chaos I was about to step back into. I was anxious and nervous about the re-entry back into the home. Walking into the house, was it clean, was it a total mess, was it worth being gone to come home to this mess?

I know as some of your husband won't let you leave for a weekend, or some of us could not handle knowing what is going on at the house when you are not there, or we don’t trust our husbands to keep the kids alive because of inabilities, no desire or even addictions get in the way of the kid’s safety. Some of us struggle with committing a whole weekend bring present and not getting to our to-do list, some of us may not even want to spend a Friday and Saturday with group of women, we all have our reasons why not.

Also, as we read this, some of you would say I don’t have kids so this does not apply to me, which is true, but I think we can all recognize that getting away to learn, to grow, to have community outside of our normal daily activities is good for us. Learning to be present with God in a new way is also fun!

So, in a week and half we have an opportunity to get together to have fellowship, fun and fabulous content at the IF:Gathering. We will have a time of worship to the Lord who brought us through hard times, being there for us in the muck of life and recognizing His presence. Then move to a time of learning and hearing God’s truth.

One thing Frisco First is good at is taking care of your little/medium size people. We don’t want childcare to be the issue for you not to come so we have childcare for the entire time!

Use it! Don’t feel bad! Trust me your kids are present where they are - once they get their goldfish.

Allow yourself the time away and sit and cry, laugh, listen to others, talk with others, connect and be present.

Let’s remember Hebrews 10:35 says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

1 Thes. 5:11 also reminds us that therefore encourage one another and build each other up.

The Disciples were good at being present in new situations, a couple of them worried about food and people crowding in too much but that seems human. The woman at the foot of Jesus was present, the woman who sought out Jesus and all she could muster up was to reach out for his cloak and because of her faithfulness she was healed. What about the man who walked to another town to find Jesus to bring his daughter back to life, I often wonder what did Jesus work a new in him on the journey to Jesus. walk like.

We all come from different backgrounds and current situations but taking the time to be present with Jesus in a way that is intentional and cancels the noise in our life is life-giving. We all deserve a break. A time to reflect and breathe.

Can't wait to see old faces and new faces! It is going to be great!

Signup Today. You don’t have to go to Frisco First to attend on Saturday, March 3-4, and even if you don’t go to church, we would love for you to join us. Come be present with Jesus and some pretty awesome Christ-Followers.

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